Jizz In My Pants
by Muggleborn Malfoy
Summary: Just read and you'll find out. Sorry but I am bored and hyperactive. Forgive me. I DO NOT OWN PERCY JACKSON! Mentions of sex in this story


Percy's POV

Hi I'm Percy Jackson, son of Poseidon, savior of Olympus, and all that stuff. I am here today to tell you about the most humiliating day of my life (so far).

So there I was just talking to my girlfriend Annabeth when Connor and Travis Stoll come up and offer me a piece of some "Japanese candy" and then… well how about you just see it for yourself.

FLASHBACK (p.s. this is Percy's memory)

Conner: Hey Percy, what's up buddy?

Me: Hi Conner, nothing just talking to Annabeth.

Travis: cool. Hey Annabeth

Annabeth: Hi guys *sigh*

Conner: Oh don't be like that Annabeth. We just wanted to let Percy try this weird blue Japanese candy…

Me: You had me at blue *takes candy and eats it*

Travis: well then we'll just leave you two alone then.

PAUSE FLASHBACK

Now I am not sure if you noticed, but I was obviously not thinking today. I know what you're gonna say, "Percy you Kelp head" Yes, yes I know guys ok? I love blue candy it's my second weakness. Anyway continue on

FLASHBACK… again

Annabeth: So Percy I was wondering if you would like to-

I twitch

Annabeth: Percy are you ok?

I twitch again

Annabeth: Percy seriously stop tha-

I jump up and begin to sing finding my voice magnified.

Me: _Lock eyes from across the room  
>Down my drink, while the rhythms boom<br>Take your hand and skip the names  
>No need here for the silly games<br>Make our way through the smoke and crowd  
>The club is the sky and I'm on your cloud<br>Move in close as the lasers fly  
>Our bodies touch and the angels cry<br>Leave this place go back to yours  
>Our lips first touch outside your doors<br>A whole night what we've got in store  
>Whisper in my ear that you want some more<br>And I_

_Jizz in my pants_

I start to dance. HELP ME!__

_This really never happens you can take my word  
>I won't apologize, that's just absurd<br>Mainly your fault from the way that you dance  
>And now I<em>

_Jizz in my pants_

_Don't tell your friends or I'll say your a slut  
>Plus it's your fault, you were rubbing my butt<br>I'm very sensitive, some would say that's a plus_

_Now I'll go home and change_

I think- WHAT DID THE STOLES DO TO THAT CANDY!_  
><em>_[ Lyrics from: .com/lyrics/t/the_lonely_island/jizz_in_my_ ]__  
>I need a few things from the grocery<br>Do things alone now mostly  
>Left me heart broken not lookin' for love<br>Surprise in my eyes when I looked above  
>The check out counter and I saw her face<br>My heart stood still so did time and space  
>Never felt that I could feel real again<br>But the look in her eyes said I need a friend  
>She turned to me that's when she said it<br>Looked me dead in the face, asked "cash or credit?"  
>And I<em>

_Jizzed in my pants_

Crap… Annabeth looks at me like I am insane!__

_It's perfectly normal, nothing wrong with me  
>Oh we're going to need a clean up on aisle 3<br>And now I'm posed in an awkward stance because I_

_Jizzed in my pants_

_To be fair you were flirting a lot  
>Plus the way you bag cans got me bothered and hot<br>Please stop acting like you're not impressed  
>One more thing, I'm gonna pay by check<em>

_Last week - I saw a film  
>As I recall it was a horror film<br>Walked outside into the rain  
>Checked my phone and saw you rang and I<em>

_Jizzed in my pants_

Again I think-WHAT'S HAPPENING TO ME!__

_Speeding down the street when the red lights flash  
>Need to get away need to make a dash<br>A song comes on that reminds me of you and I_

_Jizz in my pants  
>The next day my alarm goes off and I<br>Jizz in my pants  
>Open my window and a breeze rolls in and I<br>Jizz in my pants  
>When Bruce Willis was dead at the end of Sixth Sense I<br>Jizzed in my pants  
>I just ate a grape and I<br>Jizzed in my pants  
>I went to<br>(Jizzed in my pants)  
>(Ok seriously you guys can we... ok)<em>

_I jizz right in my pants every time you're next to me  
>And when we're holding hands it's like having sex to me<br>You say I'm premature I just call it ecstasy  
>I wear a rubber at all times it's a necessity<em>

My dad is going to kill those Stoles__

_Cuz I Jizz in my pants_

_Yes, I jizz in my pants_

PAUSE FLASHBACK

Yes ok it was embarrassing to know that I did that in front of Annabeth, but hold on, hold on the most embarrassing part is coming up. Wait for it… wait for it… NOW!

FLASHBACK… for the third time

Conner: Did you get it Travis?

Travis: sure did Conner, and so did the whole camp

The camp walks out of the forest laughing

Me: I'm gonna kill you guys

Annabeth: lighten up Percy they were only having fun *laughs*

Me: Annabeth it's not funny

Annabeth: sorry but it is.

Whole camp laughs their butts off.

END FLASHBACK

There you see? The whole camp saw it and Annabeth thought it was funny. My life has been ruined… permanently. But any way thanks for hearing me out Zeus… Zeus? Zeus?

I turn and see Zeus rolling on the floor laughing.

I hate my life.

**A/N ok so I am sorry that I put this piece of shit up but it is currently 1:39 AM and I cannot sleep because I get to see the Harry Potter premiere tomorrow. Please no rude comments. I was just bored. Thanks. :) **


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